Austin Powys - International Hobgoblin of Mystery in
'Thunderballs Up'
A Flintloque Scenario by CJ Hooper
(with thanks to Dr. James Nicolson for the name Ophelia Whitebits)
Austin Powys - International Hobgoblin of Mystery and the lovely Hench Beauty, Ophelia Whitebits, must evade the clutches of legbreaker Bruno von Bruno and a nameless cast of Hench-Elves in order to escape the camp of the renegade Ferach megalomaniac Lastrom Burgundy.
~
It was an easy enough mission Wogan had sent me on; get in, get the plans, get out.
Thus far things had gone slightly awry; got in, got the plans, got distracted, got captured, got free, got the girl.
Only two steps left; get out and blow the whole damned place up.
So, that’s how I found myself here with the lovely Ophelia Whitebits at the wrong end of Lastrom Burgundy’s camp a short stroll away from the munitions dump with a long burning fuse burning gloriously away into said munitions dump and only ten henchmen and an evil sidekick in my way.
It was at this point in my latest escapade, that the beautiful Ophelia told me that she had not only left the stolen plans I had hidden on her person in her other set of unmentionables, but said unmentionables could, in fact at this very moment, be in any one of the three wagons that were dotted around the camp.
Women, can’t live with them...
...at least not past the opening credits.
~
This is a solo mission for one solitary Flintloque player on his own – though you can add more if you have friends...
Austin Powys is a very special Hobgoblin working for Wogan, Wheeling-Turn’s spymaster in Catalucia. On this, his latest escapade, he finds himself in the camp of the nefarious Lastrom Burgundy, a renegade Ferach agent, working against both Wheeling-Turn and the Usurper Mordred in the hope of capitalising on the chaos that is war.
As Powys’ opening soliloquy suggests he had already found the plans which proved that last week’s theft of the Ferach Crown Jewels by green-jacketed Orc Rifles was nothing of the sort and was in fact orchestrated by Lastrom Burgundy (we did mention he was nefarious, did we not). Wogan and Powys had known it must be Burgundy as Wheeling-Turn is many things but not one of those things is a thief (well, not such an obvious heavy handed one - anyway as if there had been stealing to do, Wogan and Powys would have been the ones to do it for the Duke themselves)!
Everything was going exactly as planned right up until Powys was captured whilst he was distracted by the lovely Ophelia Whitebits, Hench Beauty of Lastrom Burgundy (he had in fact been 'distracted' for just over an hour when captured, she was very distracting).
Luckily some quick thinking meant he managed to hide the stolen plans in the silky undergarment unmentionables of Miss Whitebits to avoid their being handed back to the renegade Ferach.
Burgundy, intending to wax lyrical about his megalomaniacal plans later, had Powys tied up and retreated to a nearby wagon to debrief Miss Whitebits.
After an amazing escape featuring nothing more than a handful of sand, two stones and an orange, Powys has rigged up a long fuse and tracked down the thoroughly debriefed Miss Whitebits.
Setup
There is no map for this scenario.
The adventure opens with Austin and Ophelia at the far side of the gaming area with a handful of tents, 3 wagons and a command bunker between them and victory. These should be placed in an aesthetic manner with the three wagons at least 36cms away from each other. In the centre of the camp is the munitions dump, a dozen or so barrels should be used to represent this. You should also place a random scattering of cover between the tents, wagon and buildings. The more you place the easier the scenario is.
One edge of the gaming area should be setup to represent the exit from the camp, any suitable gateway terrain can be used. All other edges of the board represent unscaleable fences, indomitable canyon walls, piranha filled moats or any other imposing movement blocking terrain feature you fancy. In case it’s not clear, the camp can only be exited by the main gate.
There are fifteen renegade Ferach Hench-Elves wandering around the camp, at the start of the scenario they should be placed randomly using any method you wish (I divided the camp up into 10 x 10 rough sections and rolled a D100 for each figure).
Also strolling around the camp is the chief legbreaker for Lastrom Burgundy, the Ostarian Bruno Von Bruno. Needless to say he has a grudge against Austin Powys for blinding him in one eye with a champagne cork during the Comptess De Momotess’ Large Ball (this earlier 'fillum' may be released at a later date by Winged Eagle Productions should public demand be high enough...). Bruno starts the game on the opposite side of the camp to Powys and Ophelia.
Special Rules
Hench-Elves: Each turn before Austin and Ophelia are activated every Hench-Elf is moved as per the standard 'missing with a grenade' rules (Flintloque: WIC, p.76) with the figure finishing facing in the direction they moved. After being moved, Austin and Ophelia get to take their activation (rules below).
Austin & Opehila: Both Austin and Ophelia activate after the Hench-Elves have moved. After they have finished their turn should any Hench-Elf have Austin and Ophelia in line of sight (180 degree arc in front of miniature) then they will open fire. Random gunfire is not unheard of in the lawless renegade Ferach camp of Lastrom Burgundy and gunfire alone does not alert the other guards. Sadly however should they open fire then Ophelia will scream thus alerting the entire camp to their presence (tsk, stereotypical Hench Beauty!). Should fighting become an issue (and it probably will) Austin is an Experienced Elite Light Troop Hobgoblin, choose skills as per the standard rules for his experience level. Young Miss Ophelia Whitebits is a curvaceous Ferach beauty, she is an experienced civilian (although her experience is not technically of a martial nature...).
Bruno Von Bruno: Bruno is moved differently to the Hench-Elves. Since losing his eye his olfactory senses have heightened to a level previously unknown in his kind. He can smell Powys no matter where he is in the camp. Every turn he moves at Slow March directly towards Powys with the intent to fight in Melee. Bruno is an Experienced Regular Dogman armed with a Sword who can use the Dastardly Officer special ability at any time if there is a Hench-Elf in range.
“Yew Branch”: In this adventure Austin is armed with a silenced Walter KP Nuts pistol. It neither alerts Hench-Elves or distresses Miss Whitebits when fired. If a killing shot is not achieved Austin can ‘silence’ any wounded Hench-Elf by moving into base to base contact with tge target during the same turn in which he fired. If he does not 'silence' them the screams of the wounded Hench-Elf alert the entire camp. It has the same statistics as an Orc Artillerie Pistol. He also carries a specially crafted hat pin which extends to form a deadly fencing blade (treat as a sword in melee).
The Plans: Powys needs to search the wagons for the missing unmentionables, either he or Ophelia may search a wagon they are in base to base contact with whilst one guards (ideally Ophelia will search while our hero keeps a lookout with his trusty Walter KP Nuts). Searching / Looking Out counts as two special actions, so they cannot move / search or make an attack action / search in one turn. On searching the first wagon roll a D6, on a roll of 5 or 6 the plans are found, on searching the second you need to roll either 3, 4, 5 or 6, and the third is a certainty if the plans have not yet been found.
Alerting The Camp: Once the camp is alert things get rather tricky for out erstwhile hero. All of the Hench-Elves on the table are now controlled by the Solo Play rules (Flintloque: WIC, p.89). They are all Ferach Elves armed with either a pistol (01-25%), Musket (26-75%) or Sword (76-100%). Their ratings are determined as per normal using the drawn tokens method, as are their actions. Bruno Von Bruno continues to move as above but not moves at Double March every turn directly for Powys.
The Munitions Dump: Austin has fashioned a long fuse out of Hench-Elf hair and the remains of an orange. He must place this in the munitions dump before heading for the exit as we all know a good spy blows up the villains lair on the way out. Once this is lit Austin and Ophelia have D10 turns to escape from the camp.
Lastrom Burgundy: Either once the camp is alerted or once the fuse is lit Lastrom Burgundy will appear randomly from one of the tents (in which he was busy debriefing yet another Hench Beauty) and run for his life towards the camp gate. Austin Powys has a choice to get the bad guy or run for his life, a real hero would manage both...
Victory
To achieve a real victory Austin Powys must;
(a) Get the plans.
(b) Blow the Base.
(c) Keep the girl alive.
(d) Defeat Lastrom Burgundy.
(e) Get out.
To achieve a minor victory (which is not really that heroic)
(a) Get the plans.
(b) Get out.
Writer’s Notes
This scenario was written to try and bring some Bond-esque derring-do to a Flintloque solitaire scenario. It is almost board game like to play. Feel free to change and adapt it in any way, the main aim is to have fun. If you find it too easy bring on 1D6 more Hench-Elves, if you find it too hard make Austin’s gun equivalent to a silent rifle with it’s longer range (or a silent blunderbuss if you’re really struggling).
Dydd Gwyl Dewi Dedwydd!
~
Webmaster’s Notes
An Orcs in the Webbe original ! Thunderballs-up was written exclusively for Orcs in the Webbe’s first Saints Day release of 2011, St David’s Day. Whilst CJ is not in fact a Welshman he is the Welsh-est Englishman I have ever met.
Oddly this scenario, along with quite a few other OITW originals, disappeared after an earlier regeneration of the site. It reappeared on the 7th July 2014 and is here to stay.
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Click on the Austin Powys tag below to see all of his adventures here on Orcs in the Webbe!