'The Three Moosketeers'
A Flintloque Scenario by Phil Sherlock
When King Bernadotte’s giant Trolka Queen is kidnapped, Orcs, Moose-mounted guards, and rival factions clash in a frantic race to find and carry her away before war and chaos explode.
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Dublin Prince Bernadotte has risen to the throne in Trellheim and become King of the Trolka. However, not everyone is happy with this.
The Albion Crown in particular is unhappy about the prospect of the Trolka entering the war as allies of Mordred. Bernadotte’s one weakness is his “lovely” wife Maria, a petite Trolka, little bigger than an Ogre. King Gorge of Albion has decided on a bold course of action, he will attempt to “Troll Nap” Maria and use her as a hostage to ensure Bernadotte’s good behaviour and support in the war against Mordred. He is aided in this by anti-Ferach elements within the Court. These Courtiers have taken Queen Maria hostage and brought her to the remote village of Findvalen.
She is being held there, along with two of her maids who were accidentally captured when the plan to seize the Queen did not quite go to plan. His Orcish Majesty, Gorge dispatches members of the 105th Rifles under Major Sharke and some Royal Marines under Captain Palmer. The Rifles arrive on the scene to find a deserted village and loyalist Trolka Cavalry on the horizon. The Courtiers have fled when the Loyalists showed up, and the whereabouts of the Queen is a mystery. They and the Marines who arrive shortly after must find the Queen and get her safely away from the Trolka.
When the Queen is found (by either side) she is drugged to prevent escape. One Trolka may carry her easily with no loss of speed; however it will take four Orcs to carry her at full speed.
For each Orc under four, they will move one rate slower. Sergeant Harpy (as always) is worth two normal Orcs!! There is a slight problem for the Orcs however, as they do not know which female is Queen Maria and which are only maids, as one Trolka looks much like another to the Orcs and they must get all three Trolka females off the board to be certain they have captured the Queen. If the only get one or two off the board, roll a D6 to see if it was the Queen or only a maid. If anyone fires at the carriers of drugged Trolka (whether it hit or missed, there is a 30% chance of hitting the female.
The three Mooseketeers have sworn on their honour to recover their Queen and will stop at nothing to succeed. They are so determined they suffer no morale checks and will move straight towards any Trolka female they suspect to be their Queen. The three most trusted guards in the palace were dispatched but were joined by an enthusiastic youngster on the way to join their unit. The Guardsmen are mounted on War Moose but the youngster could only afford a mangy Skagerack moose, only capable of half the speed of his betters. It takes one turn to properly search a building, roll to see if any of the Trolka females are present (D20). If anyone carrying a female is wounded, he does not count toward the movement rate next turn. If all but one of the carriers are injured, his burden will drop upon him, trapping him for D3 turns.
The Troops
Porthole: A burly uncouth individual, even by Trolka standards, he is also one of the most trusted and feared Guardsman in the palace.
Originally attracted to the post of Guardsman by the glamour, he relishes in the opportunities this gives for wenching, carousing and fighting, not necessarily in that order. He believes himself to be invincible (he may be right) and will fight anyone or anything anywhere.
Regular experienced Trolka, armed with blunderbuss and hammer.
Mounted on War Moose.
Arthouse: A rare creature, a Trolka with tendencies towards fashion and culture, he is sometimes mocked by his fellows but never in earshot. He is every bit as violent as the others but tries to do it in what he considers style, which results in him trying to behead opponents with him hammer rather than beating them into the ground.
He is usually overdressed and adds lace and other “stylish” trimmings to his uniform, most of which are general blood splattered from him unusual and messy fighting style.
Regular experienced Trolka, armed with blunderbuss and hammer. Mounted on War Moose.
Old Spice: Another cruel freak of nature, well matched by his bizarre companions, Old Spice is a Trolka who has ‘found religion’. He is now fired with a devout zeal and a divine purpose, he feels that is a personal quest to someday find God, and somehow, get him!!
Regular veteran Trolka, armed with blunderbuss and hammer.
Mounted on War Moose.
Thugtanion: A new low in Trolka society, a teenage Trolka bent on destruction and eager to prove himself in combat against anyone he meets. He is the son of a wealthy Trolka and is as such immune from being called to task for most of his actions, but this will cut no ice with the Guardsmen.
Regular veteran Trolka, armed with blunderbuss and hammer.
Mounted on War Moose.
The Opposition
Major Sharke: Veteran elite Orc Light Infantry, armed with rifle and sword.
Sgt Harpy: Veteran Elite Bog Orc Light Infantry, armed with blunderbuss, rifle and sword.
Hagsmun: Experienced Elite Orc Light Infantry, armed with rifle and bayonet, is a crack shot and treats all shots as being two range bands closer.
Gattaker: Average Elite Orc Light Infantry, armed with rifle and bayonet.
Purkinz: Raw Elite Orc Light Infantry, armed with rifle and bayonet.
Arris: Average Elite Orc Light Infantry armed with rifle and bayonet.
Captain Palmer: Experienced Regular Orc Marine, armed with musket, pistol and sword.
3 Average Regular Orc Marines armed with musket and sword.
4 Raw Regular Orc Marines armed with musket and sword.
Maria may be treated as an unarmed Raw Militia Ogre, should the need arise.
Alternatives
If the Trolka Crown is currently allied to Albion, the Trollnappers could be Ferach Voltiguers and Elf Marines.
Suggested Miniatures
5001E - A to J Elf Voltiguers
FSB002 - A,B,C,D 5104 Albion 105th Foot ‘The Rifles’
54019 - A,B,C Albion Marines
56551,56552,56553,56554 - Trolkas
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Webmaster's Notes
This scenario was originally published in Alternative Armies' Loque and Load magazine, Volume 4, Issue 2 in the Summer of 2002 and was first published on Orcs in the Webbe on the 8th November 2007.
It was absent for many years due to a prior regeneration of the website not transferring everything over correctly, the wrong has now been righted and it returned on the 4th December 2025 as the fourth entry in that year’s Advent Calendar and, of course, is part of Orcs in the Webbe's ongoing Flintloque Archive Project, bringing you fondly remembered and long forgotten adventures from the world of Valon.
Any comments in maroon in the article above have been added by me either to provide additional information or clarity. In many cases I have also made small changes to grammar and layout and may not have not marked these.
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