Orcs in the Webbe

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs: Chapter 22, Verse 6

Parenthood is not an unalloyed blessing. Those of us with children may look back on the time when our progeny were but babes in arms fondly, but our memories are great deceivers and a brief reminder of night after sleepless night of feeding and changing an infant will soon set the record straight. Parents should however look back and remember well those brief and fleeting moments of joy that a child can bring, perhaps the first time they rode a bicycle unaided, the enthusiastic if tuneless murdering of a ridiculous song at a school concert, or an Olivier-esque performance as third sheep in a Nativity play. On such slim supports are the burdens of parenthood borne. With this in mind I took my 5 year old son, Levi, to Rauceby War Weekend (www.raucebywarweekend.co.uk) WWII Living History display at the end of August.

Amongst stalls selling interesting WWII memorabilia, a truly alarming collection of reproduction SS uniforms (very popular in south Lincolnshire, I’m told), and a huge collection of tat, Levi discovered a rather forlorn little biscuit tin containing elderly 54mm plastic cowboys and Indians. Two years previously following a visit to the Anglo-Saxon ship burial at Sutton Hoo the suitably impressed, but barely verbal, son convinced himself that the proper term for all armed warriors was “Hoffa Ho”. To my delight, at Rauceby, Levi pestered my to buy the cowboys and Indian “Hoffa Ho’s” for him– a delight because this was absolutely the first time he has shown the slightest interest in toy soldiers. He has a veritable arsenal of toy swords (plastic, wooden and, after nearly breaking my fingers, foam), bows (long and recurve (made in China and lethal)) and assorted dark age and “Robin Hood” costumes and armour. However this was his first voluntary foray into the wonderful worlds of miniature warfare. Truly a proud parenting moment. The die is now cast, and having trained my son well, I feel I’m set to fulfil a French proverb “a father is a banker provided by nature”. Oh well.

Rules sets are also troublesome children, although fortunately ones you can set aside for awhile without getting a visit from Social Services. “Welcome to Helmand” has been temporarily put on hold for a month or two whilst I’m helping my good friend Gavin finish his new corp-level Napoleonic’s rules (as yet unnamed). With one base to a battalion they offer an eclectic mix of rules liberally “borrowed” (and referenced) from other sets (at least 4) but rearranged in such a way as to create something rather good. I’m not sure these will ever see the light of day commercially. It’s been fun helping out someone who has many years of playing experience but has never put together a set of rules before, particularly in learning that when trying to recreate history you should try to replicate the rule and not the exception – just because something may have happened once in 20 years of warfare, a rules set is not a failure if it cannot happen at all under the rules. This particular “child” has been an education.