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The Illustrated Londinium Times: Evil Elves Desecrate the Dead ! |
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Tuesday, 18 December 2007 00:00 |
Spies have revealed that the Ferach have developed a sinister method of bringing dead troops back to life! These shock reports have filtered through several unreliable channels to our reporters in the field.
Elves have been seen carrying their fallen comrades off the battlefield on devices allegedly termed “stretchers”, clearly fiendish contraptions for elongating the arms and legs of the corpse before re-animation. The body is reputedly taken to a place laughingly called a “field hospital”, a weak attempt by the Elves to pretend that they are merely “performing surgery” on the lifeless cadaver.
At the field hospital, or re-animation centre as the truth knows it , foul rites involving the spilling of much blood are conducted by a High Priest of Buon Partee mockingly termed “The Doctor”! “ Doctor who?”, I hear you ask, and it is a question with a disturbing answer. He is not a Doctor of Science, but a Doctor of DEATH!
However, Florcence Nightingale, known for her work with lepers as the “Lady with the Lump”, claims that our reports are lies. “Field hospitals are a good idea, and we could learn a lesson from the Elves here,” she said. This only confirms the present writer's suspicion that the growing female influence in our society is nothing more than a plague of nonsense. Florcence’s ill-informed and stupid view is all one can expect from a woman, and this writer believes that they should stick to cooking and cleaning instead of meddling with important issues such as this.
Webmaster's Notes
This was originally published on the original Alternative Armies Flintloque website. |
